Jungle Part Deux, Also Caves

On Wednesday I flew south to Mulu to visit a national park there that is known for it's spectacular cave systems. I'm pretty sure one of them is featured on The Planet Earth series for those of you who have seen it. You know the one where they are climbing the mountain of bat guano and cockroaches? Ya, that's it. It's even more spectacular in person because you can really appreciate that rich smell of ammonia, it's very pungent. Kind of stings the nostrils.

The caves really were impressive. I've never seen caves like this before with proper selactites and bats and everything. The Deer Cave there apparently is the largest cavern chamber in the world and it houses millions of bats that come out to feed most evenings in giant swarms. It was really cool to see them leave the cave in this big swirling mass.

Mulu was also a very social place, I met a lot of people and drank a lot of beer. Overall it was a really good experience and I'm glad I was able to get a last-minute booking there. It would have sucked to spend those days sitting in KK instead.

Well I think I just heard my flight to Singapore being called to board. I've got two nights there and then I'm heading home. It's been a great trip... Afghanistan included, but it will be good to get home again.

I'm so far behind in this

I don't even know how I can possibly catch up. I'm going to start with the last few days because it's fresh in my head.

I just got back to KK after spending the last two days climbing Mount Kinabalu (which thanks to Duane I just learned is not the highest peak in SE Asia as advertised). It is a 4092m tall mountain though and it was a hell of a trek to get to the top.

I kind of booked the mountain a little last minute and didn't really have a whole lot of info beyond what the tour company gave me which basically said that they recommend that I leave KK at around 7am to be at the mountain for 10am so I could meet up with other trekkers and share the cost of a guide and start the hike.

Well I tried to leave KK on a 7:30am bus but by the time we actually left KK it was closer to 8:20am because the driver kept waiting for more passengers to show up. It was really pissing me off because he kept saying "Soon, soon" but if I had known it was going to be an hour late than I would have tried to find another bus. Anyways, by the time I got to the mountain it was around 10:30am and there was nobody at the base so I had to pay the full cost to hire my own personal guide (because they won't let you on the mountain without one). When I checked in they asked me when I was planning on doing the mountain and I was kind of confused because I wasn't really sure why they would think I was checking in if I was going to do the mountain some other day. Anyways when I said I would be starting it as soon as they checked me in the girl looked at me like I was crazy to be starting so late in the day.

Anyways, it was 11am by the time I got cleared in and picked up my guide and the ridiculous packed lunch they provided... cheese sandwiches, boiled eggs and bananas in a cardboard box packed in a reusable grocery bag. How is that practical to carry up a mountain? So thinking that I was really behind I started hiking quickly up the mountain. After about 20 minutes I lost my guide and never saw him again until about an hour after I got to the lodge. This guy hikes the mountain twice a week... how could he get so far behind?

I did the first day in about 3h10m which after reaching the lodge I found out was a really fast time. Most were doing it in 5-6 hours. At the lodge I met a group of engineers, an Auzzie couple from Singapore and an Irish girl who had been travelling all over SE Asia for the last few months. We sat and enjoyed our 25MYR beers (so expensive but worth it!) and commiserated on how tired we were. I got to bed early that night as the next day would start at 2am so we could be at the peak for sunrise.

Now I get a little competitive about a lot of things and I also hate being in a pack of people that prevent me from going at my own pace so I decided that I wanted to try to get as far to the front of the pack as quickly as I could so I could just do my own thing instead of waiting for others to get out of the way. Well after about 500m I realized I was at the front of the pack and there wasn't anyone even close to keeping up with me (even my guide) so I just carried on to the summit. It was the most amazing walk in the dark with millions of stars in the sky and the moon setting behind one of the mountain peaks... it was just beautiful! I would stop and turn around every once in a while to see a snake of lights coming up the mountain behind me but they were nowhere close to catching up. I have to give my guide credit though because about half way to the peak as I stopped for water a light came up to me quickly and there he was panting and wheezing. It didn't take long for him to fall behind again and I was easily the first to the summit by about 20 minutes.

Watching the sun come up over the mountains this morning was simply spectacular! As I sat there watching it I kind of wished it would just go on and on.

On the way back down the mountain my guide did much better and stayed with me the whole time. As we approached the trailhead I heard him sigh and say "Finally". I really think I almost killed him. I gave him a good tip though so he was happy in the end.

Almost the end... of Semporna

Sadly I'll be leaving Semporna soon. It's been great here and I really just can't get enough of diving. A few days ago I finally got my trip to Sipadan Island. It turns out is is everything it's cracked up to be.

The first two dives of the day were strictly ok... I saw things that I hadn't seen before like grey reef sharks and white tip reef sharks but other than that the dives were just average. The third dive was spectacular! We went down to the Turtle Tomb and then along Drop Off and the scenery is simply amazing. It's a wall dive where the wall stretches down into the deep as far as you can see. It apparently goes down over 600m deep. Swimming along this wall as new scenes opened up in front of us as we went around every corner was just amazing! The wall was hanging with coral and on some little shelves you could find turtles resting. To our left we always kept a watch out to try to spot any rays that came by or if we were really lucky a hammerhead or whale shark. The divemaster did spot a devil ray and gave a bang on his tank while he waved urgently towards us. I took off after him and swam hard to catch a quick view of the ray as it sped by. Amazing!

Further along the wall we found a small school of barracudas playing in the current and then came upon a massive school of jackfish as well as a school of humphead parrotfish. The humpheads were great! They're pretty big fish (close to 1.5m long) and while they milled about chomping on the coral they looked kind of like a heard of buffalo.

While we waited and watched the parrotfish, one of the guys in our group put his hand down on a piece of coral to steady himself. As he did this I looked beside his hand and there was a big scorpionfish sitting less than a foot from his right hand. I carefully went around to the left side of him to tap him on his shoulder and gave him the old "there's a scorpionfish sitting right beside your hand" signal. He didn't seem to get it so I followed up with a "just carefully come towards me please before you get yourself poisoned" signal. He did come towards me but he still didn't seem to get what I was trying to say although he seemed quite grateful later when I explained it to him on the surface. He even gave me a cookie :)

So after the parrotfish we went back to the school of jackfish and swam through them. It was really awesome being completely surrounded by the fish as they swirled around. There is also a big school of barracuda at Sipadan which was at the time apparently just a little further down the reef. It would have been really awesome to swim with them. I spoke so some people who did and they just said it was an incredible experience being in this swirling vortex of barracuda. Oh well... maybe next time. Overall, Sipadan was really great!

So I have been trying to figure out how to spend the rest of my time here. I have Mount Kinabalu booked for the 15th and wanted to go see some orangutans up in Sandakan before going there. I had heard great things about Uncle Tan's for the orangutans and jungle trekking from everyone that passes through there so I booked with them. I've been told it's basically like summer camp but with beer. Can't wait!

After Uncle Tan's and the mountain I'll only have 4 days left in Borneo before catching my flight up to Singapore. I still haven't figured out what I'll do with that time but I might head south as there are supposed to be some spectacular caves down there. I'd also kind of like to pass through Brunei even if it's just for a few hours because I kind of want to get another stamp on my passport. I'll have to look into it all in the next few days and decide what to do. If all else fails I can always spend the time diving in KK! I feel like my vacation is coming to an end too fast, only two weeks left.

I've decided I may not ever come home

Arrived in Borneo on the 28th and caught a bus to Semporna where I would be diving. This area is supposed to be one of the top ten places to dive in the world so it should probably suit my needs just fine.

The town itself is... well it's a shithole. There isn't really another way to put it. There is a small area near the docks where all the diveshops are and that's basically where the tourists live and stay. Even that area is very run down, dirty and smells bad. Anyways I didn't come here to tour Semporna, I knew it was a dump. I came here to dive.

I completed both my open water and advanced open water courses and I'm now just fun diving and I'm absolutely loving it! I don't know why I haven't been doing this for years! It's amazing to go down under the waves, there is so much life down there!

I saw my first shark yesterday! Just a small nurse shark, but it was very cool. Apparently they've been spotting hammerheads at Sipadan for the last three days so I'm hoping I'll see one when I'm there. Today I saw an eagle ray and a blue marlin. The marlin was jumping out of the water as it hunted for fish, it was really cool.

The dive outfit that I've been using is called Scuba Junkie and I have to give them two big thumbs up on their work. They own the dive shop, the hostel and the bar next door and that's pretty much all I need from the town here. My days start at 7am, grab some breakfast, over to the dive shop, on a boat to some island, do two dives, have an amazing lunch (the food here has been so good), do another dive, back on the boat to Semporna, shower, change, over to the bar for about 6 hours, bed, repeat.

The first day I went diving I was at an island called Sibuan. Sibuan is basically a spit of sand with some beautiful tall palms on it and a few huts where the local villagers live. It honestly looks like something out of Robinson Crusoe. We went ashore at lunch and a bunch of kids from the village came running down the beach with fresh coconuts for us. One little boy in particular who was probably around 4 years old came down the beach with a coconut on his shoulder and looking all proud that he had carried it all that way but wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. It had to make you smile.

The diving has been great, I've seen a nurse shark, eagle ray, octopus, lots of turtles, lionfish, scorpionfish, a school of thousands of jackfish that swam all around us, giant morays, colourful little nudibranches, boxer shrimp, batfish, angelfish, triggerfish, little nemo fish, trumpet fish, surgeon fish, spotted ribbon tailed rays, remoras and so many other things.

Yesterday a green turtle passed by me and it had a remora on it's back. Well as it passed, the remora came off and swam towards me. It seemed very curious and came to take a close look. I tried to shoo it away but it was very persistent and I sort of lost track of it when it swam down towards my chest. I didn't think much of it and carried on my way. Well about five minutes later I felt something on my head and so I looked up and saw a flash of a tail above me and then felt more movement around my head. I tapped my dive buddy on the shoulder and sort of pointed to my head and made a kind of "is there something eating my head?" kind of signal. She initially looked confused and then she had big eyes and laughed as she saw the remora trying to clean my head. Well my little friend eventually left me alone when our instructor came over and it decided instead to try to swim up his shorts. Rowan was luckily quick enough to clamp down the leg of his suit before the fish made it's way up.

I've met a ton of good people here, most of them come and go... well I guess all of them have moved on by now and new ones have arrived. I seem to be the only one who's stayed for the long haul but I just can't get enough of it. Tonight I went on a muck dive in the harbor and it's such a different world down there at night. Lots of different and curious little creatures. It was a little creepy too with nothing but darkness around you and just a flashlight to show  your way.

I'll be heading to Si Amil island tomorrow. Looking forward to it already.

G'night.

Safari!

Yesterday afternoon I went on a desert safari that I had been looking forward to going on, I had heard good reviews so I figured it was worth a go. Well the whole experience can be summed up by saying "frikken hilarious!"

Now let me lead into this by saying I really didn't know what to expect. I had been trying to contact a tour company that was recommended in my Lonely Planet while I was in Kandahar and they never replied to my e-mails. Once I got to Dubai I gave them a call and made the arrangements. Well on Tuesday around noon (with the tour supposed to start at 3:30pm) they called me to tell me that they would have to reschedule me because they had damage to their base camp and needed to do some repairs. So just a note: don't book a tour with Alpha Tours Dubai... bad experience.

So I scrambeled and booked with another company called Lama Tours. I'd give them two thumbs up... book your desert safaris here. Anyways as I said, I didn't know what to expect on this tour and when the driver showed up to pick me up it was me and a family of four in the truck. I didn't know if that meant it was going to be just the five of us all evening? I had images of me jumping in all their family photos, maybe they would adopt me and be my Dubai family. Little Rasheef gave me some of this candy on the drive out to the desert so I was pretty happy with how it was all starting.

Well I quickly figured out by the number of tour trucks that we saw on the highway that we were clearly not going to be the only ones. There were dozens of trucks from several different companies all heading in the same general direction.

Well the tour itself started off with a nausiating ride through the dunes. I should note that I was stuck on the back bench of the SUV and with all the ups and downs I was starting to feel sea sick.

When we eventually got to the base camp it was really pretty nice. They had a "traditional?" (I say that because I have no idea what a traditional bedouin camp looks like but that's what they told us) bedouin camp set-up with tables and chairs around the central stage area. All-in-all it was pretty good.

They had a number of activities that you could participate in if you liked: camel rides, henna, smoking sheesha (or hubbly bubbly as they kept referring to it). I wanted to ride a camel and I'll tell you that was the most uncomfortable experience ever! I just couldn't find a position where my boys weren't being crushed. Thank god it was a short ride because I basically had to hold myself off the saddle the whole time. I think the guy leading the ride knew what my problem was because he had a big knowing grin on his face.

So after the camel ride I went to relax and smoke some sheesha. While over there I met a couple of Californians who were on their way back from a wedding in Sri Lanka but I can't for the life of me remember their names. Well there were also a bunch of Chinese tourists trying the sheesha and it was just about the funniest thing I've ever seen. Some of them I couldn't actually tell if they were sucking or blowing on the pipe. When they would draw their face would clench up and they would put such effort into it and then you would see a single bubble in the pipe and they would stop and cough and the rest of them would laugh at the smoker. My new american friends and I couldn't stop laughing at this. If instead of a dancing show they had just put a couple of these Chinese guys up on stage with a pipe it would have been the perfect entertainment for the evening. This experience alone made the tour worth every penny!

So as for the show, thirs they had a guy wearing a dress and spinning. Now I'm going to sound ignorent, but they didn't tell us anything about what we were watching and I had never seen anything like this before so from my un-enlightened perspective it was a guy spinning around in a dress. That said, he was really quite good at it... he spun and spun and spun. Then they turned off the lights and his dress lit up so he looked like a UFO. Again, the Americans and I couldn't stop laughing, it was a good show but the lights were a little too much.

So then we had supper (which was really quite good) and after supper they had the belly dancing show. Now the way that they introduced the dancer kind of made me think I was in a strip club. In a deep radio DJ voice the announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, this next dancer has performed in shows all over Asia. Put your hands together and welcome to the stage... OLGA!" and then out came Olga to laser sounds and the Arab techno music started with her "Olga" theme song. Again, peals of laughter!

I did rather enjoy that she sort of had audience participation from the men sitting in the front row. At some point she was shaking everything she had right up in front of some guy while his 10 year old son sat next to him with a look of amazement on his face. Amazing! Overall, this tour was worth every cent. Definitely do this if you're in Dubai!

Let the vacation begin!

Oh wow! Where do I start? It's been so long since I've updated this thing that I have a ton to say. I would also imagine that anyone who has been checking in regularly to see what I've been up to has long since stopped so I'm probably writing this now just for my own sake but here I go anyways.

Well to start way back from where I left off... My last week in Kandahar was a little hectic trying to get all my work closed off before I left. Why is it that whenever time runs short that's exactly when you get the largest workload? It's like the irony of sleeping in the morning... why is it that the best time to sleep is the exact moment that you have to get out of bed?

It wasn't just the work that made the week chaotic, the process of leaving was chaotic too. Nobody seemed to really give me any instructions and i've obviously never done this before so how should I know what I should be doing and when? In the end it all worked out, but it just seemed like I had to jump through a lot of hoops in order to leave.

I had to do an "exit interview" in case I had any complaints or needed to pass on any security concerns or anything like that. Well it's somehow not just as simple as going to the interview, I had to have an escort to get there and back. now you would think that the travel/HR department would provide that person. They got me to the base afterall, don't you think it should be their job to get me home too? Turns out... no. It was up to me to find someone. Oh, and it can't just be anyone, it has to be someone who is certified to escort you to the interview.

"Ask your boss," they said.
"I did," I said, "He's not certified."
"That's ok," they said.
"It's ok if my escort isn't an authorized requestor?"
"No. Ask your boss."
"What?"

That conversation didn't really go anywhere. In the end I found someone who found someone else to escort me and it all worked out, but what a pain.

I think I got out of Kandahar just in time actually. The heat for the last few days was really opressive. It felt like it had actual weight to it and it's still nowhere near the summertime temperatures. I can't imagine what that's like.

On the plane ride back to Dubai they served beer. To quote the brilliant Will Ferrel "It's so good once it hits your lips." Yeah, it's true. Good one Will.

Oh! And I almost forgot, as I was sitting on the plane staring out the window I saw a mid-air refueling taking place! It was awesome! The two planes crossed directly under our path with one tucked in right behind the other.

Well I arrived in Dubai on Sunday afternoon and went on to my hostel and checked in. Now I had been writing back and forth with a friend from my MBA days who's currently living in Dubai now and he invited me to stay with him. Unfortunately I didn't get that e-mail until after I had already checked in, but what are hostels if they aren't cheap, so after checking my e-mail I proptly checked back out again and went to stay with him. Thanks Amine, you've been a great host!

So sunday evening wasn't too eventful. I met up with Judy for a late supper and a beer... the second time was just as good as the first... and then when I got to Amine's we went for more food. It was good to catch up with Amine and I'm glad i got the opportunity to. Mind you it sounds like he wants me to move here. It would be a nice city to live in, but it's just too hot!

I'm realizing that this blog post doesn't really sound too interesting... if you've stuck with me so far please don't give up yet. It gets better I promise.

On Monday I got up and went to the area around the creek to go to the souks and do some exploring. I really do love this plpace, it's so diverse and it's such a comfortable city. I'm not really sure what I mean by comfortable, but I've never felt out of place or uncomfortable about being anywhere. I just always felt like I belonged wherever I went.

While wandering the souks I got the distinct impression that i had the word "sucker" written across my forehead. I kept geting drawn into stores and once I was inside there was probably about a 4 in 5 chance that I was leaving with less money than I went in with. The highlight was probably a swquence that started with me walking through a narrow alleyway in the gold souk and a guy shiftily coming up to me and saying in a low voice, "Wanna buy a watch?"

Well no, I didn't really want to buy a watch but I was curious to see where this would go so I followed him through some alleys to a small shop. The alley where the shop was couldn't have been more than about 5 feet wide at best. Now first of all, who decideds that this is a good spot to open a store? This location required a guide in order to find it in the first place... not good business planning. Second, when I say it was a "small shop" that's a bit of an understatement. The store was a room about 6 feet wide by about 10 feet deep. Small.

Anyways I went in and "the guide" closed the door behind me and left. Hmmm... curious. So the guy in the store says "You want watch?" Well I look around the store and there are no watches anywhere, the store seemed like it was mostely focussed on selling junk. Just a lot of really random junk. Well the guy goes to the back wall and slides a hook out of the way and bangs on a panel (honestly, I couldn't make this up) and a little secret door opens up and he pulls out a box of watches.

"You want Rolex? You want Tagg? You want Breitling? You want Omega?" and he starts pulling watches out of the box. Well remember how I said that there was a 4 in 5 chance of me buying someing once they got me into a store? I've always wanted an Omega so... I bought one. $90 and made in Korea but it looks nice and I'm sure it's of *very* high quality ;)

So here's something I don't understand. Well I do understand the traditional arab outfits... long, white, loose fitting, it all makes sense and they look very comfortable. What I don't get is why the women get screwed over by having to wear black! The sun here is just too hot to be draping yourself in black! I would melt.

My last blog from Afghanistan

I figured I would make one last post from Afghanistan as I lay here wide awake listening to my roommate snore. Tomorrow I'll be giving my computer to Jim to take home with him so here on out it will be internet cafes in more tropical locations.

I can't say that I haven't enjoyed my time here, but I'll certainly be happy to see the end of it. It's been an adventure and I'm glad I took the opportunity but it's not something I would like to do long term. Some of the guys here have been doing this kind of thing for years. While it would certainly be financially beneficial, this isn't the life I'm looking to live. Well as far as I'm concerned, this really is no life at all. This is living your work and having three months a year to go home to visit your real life.

7 days from now I'll be back in Dubai. Can't wait!

I've always been a fan of Darwin, but...

How is it that natural selection hasn't taken care of snoring yet? I mean, what purpose does it serve other than increasing your likelihood of having someone smother you with a pillow while you sleep? Also, wouldn't snoring be a natural barrier to mating? Although I guess by the time you find out they snore it's probably too late.

9 days...

Turns out my new roommate is a snorer. Oh well, that's what iPods were invented for isn't it?

10 Days to Go

So my countdown has officially started, I'm just over a week until I'm done here. Unfortunately I've also become incredibly busy at work so it's going to be a tough week, at least it should go by pretty fast. I've got my doubts though that I'll be able to get through everything that my boss wants me to get done before I go. Somehow for every problem I solve, two more pop up. That seems to be the nature of things around here though, nothing was done properly in the first place it was just hammered together well enough to get by. Unfortunately that means when you start trying to make improvements everything kind of falls down around your ears because it was only being held together with duct tape and shoe laces to begin with. I am continually amazed at the state of some things around here. We really would be better off tearing things down and starting fresh in a lot of cases.

So Scott will be leaving on Saturday and then Jim will leave on Monday. I'm planning on giving Jim my computer to take home with him because I don't really want to travel with it. Unfortunately that means I'll have to do without for my last week here. I guess I'll finally get to do some reading. Not that I haven't had the chance, I just haven't made the time.

So Dean (the billeting guy) dropped by my office again today to tell me I'd be getting a roommate. This is the third time he's told me that in the last week. The last two times never happened. I think this time I might actually get one though because when I got back to my room after work the second bed was made up and there was a new desk in the room. I thought I had actually walked into the wrong room. On the upside, Dean said that the guy he was putting in with me is just a "visitor" and he was only going to be here for three days. I think I can handle having a roommate for three days.

It's hard to believe it's been nearly three months now. Feels like I just got here.

... doing the backstroke I guess

I almost ate a fly this morning. It was swimming in my coffee and when I took a sip I felt something in my mouth. Very gross!

So oddly it's rained here the last two nights in a row. Not for very long, but it came down pretty hard. This evening I walked over to the mess just after the rain stopped and it was so clear out. The rain took all the dust out of the air and it just seemed very clean and fresh out. It was really quite nice.

Well 15 days to go...

Moved

Well yesterday was a pretty productive day for me especially considering it was my day off. I got a good sleep-in and then wandered over to get some brunch around 11am. After brunch I figured I would bake in the sun a little so I got changed and went up to the sun deck. There was already someone up there and we started talking. It turns out he was the billeting guy, a good Cape Bretoner named Dean. As we were chatting it came up that I was still in B-block and he said I should go see him after lunch to arrange my move to S-block. Perfect!

So I laid out in the sun for a bit and then went over to see Dean. It pays to be friendly, he gave me my new room key and although I technically have a roommate he'll be out on leave until after I'm gone. Even better!

So I got all packed up and Jim and Judy helped me move over to my new accomodations. They're pretty much identical to my old accomodations, just closer to work. Oh, and now I have wireless which is nice.

I did have a good laugh my first time through the bathroom though, they have these signs posted above the toilets.

Pooping. Yer doin' it wrong!

The Final Plan

So I don't think I ever updated here to actually explain my final plan for my post KAF trip. I booked my tickets a couple of weeks ago and it's basically going to be a month of travelling and relaxing in Borneo. I'll leave KAF on April 24th to fly out to Dubai and I'll stay there until the 27th. I figure I might as well spend a couple of days to see the city and I'll probably take a day to go out on a desert safari. I was actually hoping to do an overnight safari but of the three operators that I've been recommended, none of them do overnight tours on the days I'll be there. Oh well, a day tour will be fine I'm sure.

 

Anyways, on the 27th I'll catch an overnight flight to Tawau, Malaysia and then I'll hop on a bus to go to Semporna, that's where I'll take my scuba lessons. I'll take five days to do the open water and advanced open water dive courses and then I expect I'll spend another four or five days diving off of islands in the area. The dive operator I'm going to book with is based in town and they have a hostel across the street from the docks so I'll stay there while I do the course. Following that I might move out to a resort on Mabul island to spend the rest of my time there. I'll definitely spend a day diving at Sipidan island, it's supposed to be one of the top dive locations in the world.

 

So after I'm done in Semporna I'll head inland. There are a couple of nature reserves in northern Borneo and I'll definitely stop in at one of them on my way past. One is renowned for it's orangutans and the other is a proboscis monkey reserve. I'm kind of leaning towards the orangutans but we'll see when the time comes.

 

After that I'll continue to the west coast to Kota Kinabalu which is the largest town in Malaysian Borneo (I think). From there I would like to climb Mount Kinabalu, the view from the summit is supposedly spectacular. After KK, I think I'll head out to some islands off the coast. There is a nature reserve there called Tunku Abdul Rahman park (for any of you MBAer's that are reading, that guy is seriously connected). I may do some more diving there or just explore and relax.

 

After that I'll take my time heading south along the coast, maybe passing through Brunei. There are lots of little areas to explore along the way and I don't know how much time I'll have left by then so I may need to rush through it a bit. I've not planned that part of the trip in much detail because I feel like things will change a lot along the way. I have to be back in KK by May 21st and I'll catch a flight to Singapore. I'll have a 2 day layover in Singapore and then I'll catch my final flight home.

 

I'm really looking forward to this trip now. I only have three weeks to go here and I'll be free. It's going to be great!

 

ps. I bought some new running shoes today. As much as I hate that I had to do it I only paid $85 for the shoes and they would have cost me $150+HST at home so I should just be happy that I got a good deal... right? I hate thieves.

Give me back my shoes!

The office was pretty quiet today because over 140 people got on the plane this afternoon to head home. There is a bunch more that have moved over to other companies too. I'm not really sure how many are left, but it sure was quiet this afternoon.

The parking lot between A and B block was a disaster today. Everyone moving out had tons of garbage to get rid of so there was junk everywhere. On top of that, for some reason the company wanted everyone moving out to bring their mattresses outside too so there was a big mountain of mattresses there.

While everyone was moving out and getting rid of junk they don't want anymore there were others picking through the junk to claim their prizes. I figured that I would move my shoes inside my room because I didn't want anyone making the mistake of thinking that I was getting rid of them. When I got home from the gym this evening after all the moving madness was over I made the mistake of leaving them on the rack outside my room as I usually do. Well I went to supper and when I got back, guess what? Some asshole had stolen my shoes.

I'm really pissed! I just bought those shoes last month specifically to go to the gym because you can't use outdoor shoes at the gym here. The ridiculous thing is I have size 13 feet and I am sure there isn't a person left in the building that would come close to fitting in those shoes. 

Times they are a changin'

So I was curious about how things would go once the end of the contract finally got here. Well it's here now and I'm not happy. Things are changing, and I don't like it *insert grumpy old man scowl here*

I knew the end of the contract would mean that there would be changes in the office. Some people will be staying on base and working for other companies, others will be heading home. It's too bad really, there are a lot of good people here and I've had fun over the last couple of months. On April 1st the engineering department will actually be reduced to my two bosses and myself. Practical, I know.

The change in the office also means that I'll be moving offices. I'll be going up to the PMO to share an office with my boss. I actually had to move up there today and I'm not happy with it. For the time being I'm on a workstation in the conference room but I don't have internet access on my computer. I'm not sure what I'll be able to do without the internet, we have no engineering resources or library, no product specs, no catalogues... without the internet I've got nothing. I'm going to have to work on that one.

The other thing I'm not too pleased about is I'm losing my quad as of tomorrow. I guess they sold it to the new contractor. I'm okay with walking everywhere it's not that big of a base, but I will miss that little quad. We had some fun times together :)

Well I hope the next month goes smoothly. More and more I'm looking forward to getting out of here.

Why?

Why is it that they feel the need to use the "big voice" to loudly announce every time they find and detonate a landmine at mid-day just so nobody panics and thinks that the base is under attack when nobody really notices those explosions anyways and yet when the A-10s are on the range at 1am and dropping enough explosive to shake my bed and wake me up they don't think that is worth a little warning? 

Oh, no big deal...

... it's just a supermoon.

More Wheelin'

Muddiest trip ever! And a perfect day for it, sunny and warm.

So much mud!

That's a green shirt. 

My Skeletor face paint.

2005 Model Stryker ICV - Green

Be the envy of your neighbourhood! This tactical armoured vehicle has had only one previous owner. Low mileage, drives great, very clean. Powerful 350hp Caterpillar C7 diesel engine to get you through the morning traffic. Seats 11, big enough for the whole family! Fully loaded premium package, leather heated seats, AM/FM/CD, electronic counter measure package and anti-RPG cage! M2 .50 cal machine gun included (not shown). Nearly new run-flat tires. Minor battle damage. Priced to sell! Bought new only 6 years ago for $1.4 million! Asking $4,500 OBO. Call soon, this won't last long!

The Soap

This is a pretty random post but before I start I have to say this. No, this is not going where it might appear to be going. 

I was however just in the shower and I did drop the soap. I will say it again for those who were not paying attention. No this isn't a prison "I dropped the soap" story. 

So when the soap hit the ground it slid over to the corner of the shower stall and when I reached to pick it up I realized just how gross the showers here actually are. In the spot where the soap came to rest the floor is kind of discoloured from rust and mildew and whatever dirt didn't get washed away in the last cleaning. When I picked up the soap one end of the bar was all flattened where it had hit the ground and there was a hair embedded in it. I don't know if it was my hair or someone else's but I didn't want anything to do with it. 

Here's a question, how do you clean soap? Do you wash it with another bar of soap? Or does it just clean itself? In the end I was just really grossed out by the fact that this soap had been on the floor of a common shower stall and I ended up washing with shampoo and throwing the soap in the garbage. 

So like I said... very random post. Don't judge me, I've run out of interesting things to do here. 

EDIT: I just noticed the second pair of feet in that photo.

The New, New Plan

I was reviewing my travel plans today and I think I've come to the decision that I will leave Thailand off the list this time. There is a ton to see and do in Borneo and I don't want to rush through two places and not get to really experience either one. In light of this change in plans I went back to look at the flights I'll need to book and was shocked with what I found.

I like it when chimps have jobs

I had originally looked at flying from Kota Kinabalu to Bangkok and then from Bangkok to Ottawa. Together these flights were going to cost somewhere around $1400. Now that I'm cutting out Thailand I looked into flights to take me directly from Kota Kinabalu back home to Ottawa and discovered that it would actually cost me $700 more to do so. What is this nonsense?!?! I remove a flight and it costs more? No wonder airlines are always struggling.

So I then started to look into how I can get home from Borneo by means of the least expensive route. This likely means that I will fly from Borneo to some other country that I will then have less than 24 hours to see before hopping back on a plane to fly home. Now Bangkok is still an option at $1400 but the flight gets in at around 7pm and my flight home would leave at about 6am the next day. While I'm sure I could have a ton of fun in 11 hours in Bangkok I'm not sure if I really want to stumble back into the airport at four in the morning to board a transpacific flight after having been out drinking all night in Bangkok.

Now given that there are no major airports on Borneo and most flights there are routed through Kuala Lumpur or Singapore I figured I would start by looking at those routes. Turns out they both cost about the same at $1300. I'm kind of leaning towards Singapore though since in 24 hours I could actually see the whole country (or city state). Anyways, I'm going to have to do some more research now and hopefully I'll have it all booked by the end of the week.

Sun, sun, go away?

So I think we've officially seen the end of the rainy season here. For the last two weeks it's been clear and sunny and getting progressively hotter. We're now hitting temperatures in the high 20s and there is rarely a cloud to be seen. As far as I'm concerned, it's about as hot as I would like. Any more than this and it's just too much. That said, I know I don't have anything to complain about yet... this is only the start. 


Rob and Jaime head to the deck on top of the bomb shelter every day at lunch to sun bathe. I've joined them a couple of times, but I'll only stay out for 20-30 minutes at most, the sun is just too much. Although, if you lay out up there and close your eyes and ignore the sound of jets and helicopters overhead, the heavy equipment on the roads, the dust in your lungs and the smell of diesel exhaust sometimes mixed with an occasional whiff of sewage from the lagoon you can almost imagine you’re in a tropical paradise. I know it's a bit of a stretch but it's what I've got for the moment, at least I'm not dealing with freezing rain and slush in Ottawa. 

whump! Whump! ... WHUMP!

So there was a rocket attack this morning around 7:30am, our first one in about a week and a half. I'm not sure how many there have been since I got here, I've stopped counting. The reason that I'm blogging on this one is that it was a little different. 

Now I feel like before I tell this story I have to tell another one. Remember the great Ottawa earthquake of 2010? Well do you know where I was when the earth started to move? I was at work, as were a lot of people, and I had actually just sat down on the toilet when the ground, the walls and the very throne I was seated on began to shake. Having never really been in a significant earthquake I didn't really know what the safety rules were. In movies you see people getting in doorways or under tables, well what do you do when your pants are around your ankles and you're sitting on the toilet? Is there a safety procedure for that?

Anyways, you may or may not have guessed the reason I'm telling you this story by now. When the rocket attack siren went off this morning I was on the toilet. Now normally by the time the siren goes off the rocket is almost on the ground anyways, so if you're not in a position to immediately hit the deck then there really isn't much point. So as I sat there and the siren went off I didn't think much of it. But then almost right away I heard... whump! Close. Then... Whump! Closer. I haven't actually heard any rockets hit in any of the previous attacks and it must have made me a little nervous because when the siren restarted I made the decision to quickly open the door and lay on the bathroom floor. WHUMP! closer again. Now I'm not sure what the right amount of time is to lay on the bathroom floor in a rocket attack with your pants hastily pulled up but it really felt like far too long. Honestly, that washroom smells. Damn you Taliban! Damn you.

Work for a Warlord?

There's always a lot of chatter around the office about looking for new work since the whole office is basically being laid off at the end of the month. Given that everyone in the office is accustomed to doing work overseas and in "high risk" areas it's kind of interesting to hear about some of the job possibilities. If things keep going the way they are in Libya I would think there should be work there in the near future.

That said, Jaime was talking about engineering type job possibilities in the local area that he had heard about from a friend of his. The job would be at KAF but outside the wire working for Sharzai, the local warlord who is allied with NATO. He does a lot of construction work for NATO on and off the base and I'm sure he does quite well for himself on the jobs he does. Anyways, I gave a copy of my resume along to Jaime to pass along. I'm not sure that I would necessarily be interested in doing that kind of job, but it never hurts to keep your options open... right? Yes, it's outside the wire, but I would think it's probably safer on Sharzai's compound than it is on base. At least there wouldn't be any rocket attacks.

Dodged a bullet (Figuratively. Nobody is shooting at me. I'm fine... really.)

So Jelani moved out yesterday afternoon and by now he’s probably back in Canada the lucky git! Not two hours after his flight took off, I received an e-mail from HR asking to confirm that I’m the only one in room B-92. I e-mailed them back to say that yes, as of this afternoon I am the only occupant of B-92 but they shouldn’t feel any urgent need to fill the spot, I’m not too lonely yet.

Well today as I got back from lunch, who’s got a big grin on his face? Mr. Coughypants from down the hall. “Nick,” he says, “you may want to sit down for this.”

“Oh no!” I thought. “This can only mean one thing.”

“I’m moving in! Just got an e-mail from HR to say I’m moving to B-92.”

Under my breath, “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…” Then, “That’s… great… So why are the moving you?”

“Well I’m in with a guy who’s working night shift now so they want to keep the shiftworkers all together separate from the daytimers.”

To myself, “The only reason you haven’t been suffocated in the night is because your roommate isn’t there during the night!!!!!”

“Oh, well I can’t say I’m terribly happy about that what with you coughing all night long.”

“I don’t cough all night long.”

“Are you kidding? I’m down the hall from you and I can hear you going on at 1am… 3am… 6am…”

At this point I just kind of let things drop but got on my computer and looked at my e-mail. Sure enough I had an e-mail from HR saying I hope you’ve enjoyed the couple of days of peace and quiet but that’s over now. I immediately replied to the e-mail and copied my boss and basically said I don’t have a problem with having a roommate, but I do have a problem with having that roommate. If you would like to know why, you should come by B-Block after midnight and it’s all pretty much self explanatory.

Anyways, long story short, HR came by the office about a half hour later to explain there’s now been a change and he will be moving into B-91 instead. Not ideal, it’s right across the hall from me, but it’s better than in the room with me.

Crisis averted…

p.s. Have you seen my body armour?

Wheelin' Part Deux

Landmines? HA! That's not going to stop me. Steve and I found a couple new spots to go off-roading that are safe where we don't have a risk of getting blown up. Was it ever muddy! Was it ever fun! I liked it better than the wadi actually, we went to a pit they used to use for RC racing but it's full of water now so it isn't any good for that. What it is good for is getting messy! After that we went down to another spot on the south end of the base near a construction site. There were probably about 20-30 workers that had stopped working and just stood around watching us. Their heavy equipment operators even drove over and parked to watch, it was pretty awesome. 

Before

During

During (a little later, a little muddier)

After

I can't see

Yes, there is mud on my teeth

Amazing!

They have such awesome toys here! I mean, COME ON! Where else do you get to see stuff like this?

Apache landing

Blackhawks taking off

Dirty Smokers

So I think I mentioned that Jelani is leaving on Monday so I'll have a room all to myself although I've been told I will be moving to another building eventually but I don't know when yet. Anyways I plan on enjoying the single living while it lasts.

Now, there's a new guy in the office who just flew in this past Tuesday. He used to work for ATCO but quit about 6 weeks ago and now he's been rehired because they needed an electrical guy on staff. Anyways, I've been sitting at his desk for the last month and have been bumped because there is software on that computer that he needs. So until Jelani leaves on Monday, I'm actually without a desk of my own. I've now resorted to scrounging a computer whenever somebody gets up to go to the washroom or get a coffee.

Additionally, I am apparently living in his old room which has an antenna wired up to the roof that he used to be able to pick up a free TV signal on. He's been poking around asking about the antenna (which I have no use for anyways) and when he heard that Jelani was leaving he figured he would just move in to Jelani's old spot.

I have a problem with that. A big one. For one he's an older, overweight guy so right away I'm going to assume he snores, and not like Jelani snores, but like an older overweight guy snores. Two, he's a smoker and although you can't smoke in the shacks, he and his clothes and likely the whole room would eventually smell like smoke. Three (and this is the big one), he's currently down at the other end of the hall from me, but at about 6am every morning I can hear him coughing. And not just a little cough, but a cough that sounds like he's losing a lung. That really gross phlegmy smoker cough. I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard someone cough so badly and so consistanly. It goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on. As an added treat, during all this coughing you can hear him swearing. It goes something like this "ChooooghhoooghoooooohcooooooooghooooooJESUS!!", "ChoooooghoooghoooooooochooooooghoooooCHRIST!!!", "CHOOOOOOOGHOOOOGHFUCK!!!!". He honestly goes on like that for about a half hour most mornings. It's like our morning reveille. Anyways, all that being said, it's bad enough that he's all the way down the hall doing this. There's no way I'm going to let him move into my room!

ACK! I'M BALD!

So... funny story. I'm sleeping peacefully last night and I wake up in the middle of the night and there's Jelani standing over me cutting my hair with clippers!

I'm kidding. I've been needing a haircut and for simplicity I just decided to cut it all off. Now I fit in better with all the military types. When in Rome?

...act as Romans do.

EDIT: Thanks to Anonymous for noticing ;) I didn't think you could tell with my shirt on but yes, that's pretty much exactly what I look like these days.

Me at the gym

No more wheelin' for this guy

So there was an e-mail sent out yesterday to warn all base personnel that due to the heavy rains that we've been having there may be the risk of anti-personnel mines being washed onto base. In particular those areas around the fence line and the northern and southern wadis. Well I had fun off-roading, but not so much fun that I'm going to risk running over a landmine. It was good while it lasted.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I hurt my back... probably on Monday night at the gym but it means that I've been laid up for the last couple of days just resting. It really kind of sucks. Hopefully I'll be okay by tomorrow and I'll be able to get back to work. 

I'm Boring...

I've been pretty negligent in updating my blog for the last week. I've been wanting to post something, but my life here has settled into a fairly dull routine that I wasn't really sure that anyone (myself included) would want to read about.

Nothing like a good intro to really grab your attention, eh? Are you even still reading? It's not that I haven'd done anything since my last post. Last Saturday we had a beer call, which was much appreciated. We each got "issued" two beers and we had a steak BBQ, there was a DJ and dancing (although it was mostly guys) and it was just generally a good time. I was also reminded of just how delicious beer is, unfortunately I have a feeling we won't have another one while I'm here.

I got up to the helicopter flight line at the north end of the base this week. It was equally as cool as the flight line by the airstrip. I kind of wished I had my camera with me. We're not allowed to take photos on the flight line, but the helicopter flight line didn't seem to be a controlled area. No gates, no guards. Maybe next time because it was pretty cool. Row after row of Chinooks, Apaches, Blackhawks, Kiowas, Ospreys. It was fun to drive around there.

I'm did some more planning on my post Afghanistan trip. I will definitely spend a few days in Dubai and then go to Borneo for scuba lessons. I've heard great things about Sipadan Island being a world class dive site so I figured I would go there. I have not heard great things about the town of Semporna though, which is where you would stay if you were diving at Sipadan. I thought I found the ideal solution though, there is a water chalet located about 10 minutes off the coast of Semporna that basically amounts to a hostel on the ocean. It seemed perfect, for around $10 per night I could stay in a dorm there (including food) and catch a boat in to town to go diving. They also do diving from the water chalet but from the reviews I've read it's not great diving and you're better off going with another dive operator. Anyways, my problem now is trying to contact this place. Their e-mail doesn't seem to work and I'm not sure exactly how to call out from here to Malasia. I'm going to have to look into that this week though because it seems like a perfect place to stay.

Yesterday was a pretty perfect day. It was one of the nicest days we've had for weather, sunny, clear and probably in the high 20s. On top of that it was market day which I always enjoy. I know I've talked about the market before, but it really is fun going and looking around. They've got a little bit of everything there and I like the sheer randomness of it.

Typical vendor stall... Blankets, scarves, hats, rugs...

Traditional Afghani Viking Helmet?

Jaime modelling a metal thong.

Arachnic Man blanket. Apparently they do obey some
copyright laws...

After work I went to they gym to do my weekly 10k. It felt good last night and I've managed to drop my time down to about 52 minutes. I would like to see that come down to 45 minutes by the time I leave here but I'm feeling good with how I'm progressing.

Last night I played poker with the guys again, I did a little better this time and walked away with their money. It made for a good end to a great day. 

So... there you go, that's why I haven't been updating this thing for the last week. I feel like this is the most boring post ever.

... and another thing.

Now I'm sure you've all been following what's going on in Egypt, but with all the stone throwing going on some ingenuitive Egyptian citizens have decided that head protection is a must. How can you argue against safety in a world where the helmet cartels have managed to convince us that headgear is necessary for just about every activity from tobogganing to waterskiing. 

Have you seen this guy though? Yup, he's got a pair of baguette and a ham and cheese sandwich taped to his head and he's mad as hell!

Rain, Rain, Go Away

So it’s been raining a little lately. We got about 25mm yesterday and we’re supposed to get another 50mm over the course of the day today. Now it really doesn’t feel like it’s been raining that hard but to put that into perspective, we get an average monthly rainfall in Ottawa of around 83mm in August (apparently our wettest month). That said, I’m not positive that the weather reports I’ve got are accurate… it’s been raining, but it's never been what I would call a hard rain. Either way, because the ground here basically consists of hard baked mud it doesn’t absorb much (or any) water and it all just runs off. The result is that we’ve got a bit of a flood going.

This really wasn't what I was expecting when I pictured Afghanistan.

Can you spot the backhoe?

The lake in the background is where they quarry fill material. It's about 20-25 feet deep and it's full.

Lots of fun driving in the puddles!

Here's a little something we like to call number four. En francais c'est numero quatre.

Hats off to Lucky Ron.

Ok, I'm going to stop counting rocket attacks now. Even I'm getting bored of it. We had one last night at around 3am and I only half woke up when I heard the siren. I remember getting up and laying down on the floor. I'm not sure how long I laid there, I may have actually fallen asleep again. When I realized I was uncomfortable and laying on the floor I kind of looked around and I thought I saw Jelani laying on the floor on the other side of the room. I asked him if the all clear had sounded and he didn't reply. I stood up and looked again but I couldn't really tell if it was him in the dark without my glasses. Then I heard him snoring in bed and realized I was looking at a shadow. To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't even woken up.

I went with Jaime, Michael and Rob (two Brits and a Scot) to the NAAFI for lunch today. I'm not sure what NAAFI stands for but it's the Brits canteen and rec center. I ordered a cheeseburger and the girl at the cash said no. It kind of took me by surprise and I must have had a confused look on my face because then she said that they had no cheese. I said, "Ok, can I just get a regular burger then?". "No, we don't have any burgers." Shouldn't she have just said that in the first place?

Anyways, I ended up getting a baked potato with brown beans and a potato dog. It was basically all they had left. Now I had never heard of a potato dog before but it's absolutely brilliant! Picture a pogo but without the bread... so basically a hot dog... but now wrap it in fried mashed potatoes. Delicious! I'm going to have to go back to get more of those at some point.

While we were eating a guy walked by the table and Rob said "Hi Tim". The guy, Tim, stopped and started chatting with us and we made introductions and he was explaining how "mad" this place was. This was mad and that was mad and so on. Jaime, Michael and I all just assumed that Rob knew the guy, he seemed a little odd but whatever. It turns out it was Tim Westwood. I know, most of you will say "Who?", I didn't know who he was either. I guess he's a big radio DJ in England and he is on base to play a show tonight. Now I don't want to judge a book by it's cover, but he honestly looked like he had come to Afghanistan just to find some cheap heroin.

Wheelin'

So yesterday I got a new quad. My old one was a small 250cc bike. The new one is nice! It's an 800cc with 4-wheel drive, plus I have a box on the back to store my stuff in. It goes like stink!

Old Quad

I also got a new helmet issued to me, my old one was actually a bicycle helmet so I figured with a bigger bike I should have a proper helmet. The first one they pulled off the shelf was awesome, it was a bucket style open faced helmet with a flared rim on it. I figured I just needed to add a spike on top to complete the look. Unfortunately it was way too small for me. The only other helmet they had was the one you see in the photo below. I kind of like it, it's got skulls and tribal symbols airbrushed on it and it makes me laugh. Anyways, I'm pretty happy with the new quad.

New Quad

This morning I went up to the wadi with Steve to do some off-roading. A wadi, for those who don't know is basically a dry riverbed where the water has carved out a bit of a gully. Now at this time of year, the wadi does have water in it. It's shallow, but at places it's probably a foot or more deep. We raced up and down the wadi for about and hour and a half in the rain (not that it mattered, we were drenched in water and mud by the time we were done anyways). Wow! I had a lot of fun. I think this will be a regular Sunday morning activity for me.

Cribs.pl

So at the gym they have a big screen TV that is always tuned in to some Polish music video channel. Normally when I get there it's just starting into what I like to call the Booty Dance Hour. Now it's possible that I just don't watch enough music videos, are they all like this? Anyways the reason I call it Booty Dance Hour should be pretty self explanatory:  Mum don't click the links. It seems they've actually done a good job of finding every single video ever made that features women in thongs and putting them together in an hour long show. Anyways, it's surprisingly motivating while you're working out so I don't complain.

Now the reason I'm telling this story is that apparently on Fridays Booty Dance Hour is replaced by a Polish version of MTV Cribs. If you're not familiar with the premise of Cribs, it's basically a show where they give you a tour of celebrity mansions so you can see exactly how much better they are than the rest of us. What made me laugh watching this show was that they went through two Polish celebrity musicians' homes and they just looked like ordinary houses. "Here's my regular sized kitchen with some dishes in the sink. Here's my overstuffed yet normal sized closet. Here is my bedroom with a treadmill pushed awkwardly into the corner. Here is my low end BMW with a baby seat in the back." I just don't get why anyone would be interested in seeing how these people live.

Edit: HA! I just tried to go to www.cribs.pl (as advertised during the show) and the site doesn't even work.

Rocket Attack Number Three OR How the Taliban Ruined My Workout

Not cool guys. Not cool.

Number Two's Wild Ride

Rocket attack number two today. I'm getting the feeling that by the time I leave here I will have lost track of how many attacks there have been. Nobody really seems to care about the attacks, when the siren went off everyone just kind of looked around the office. I got down on the floor (as we’re supposed to) and then others did too. As soon as the siren stopped everyone was back up and sitting at their desks. It was another half hour before the all clear was sounded. I guess it’s just the way it goes around here, I’m sure I’ll get used to it.

The weekend was fun. There is a bazaar every Saturday where they let local merchants in to sell their wares. I went to take a look but didn’t buy anything. I figure I’ve still got the better part of three months left so there’s still lots of time to buy a bunch of crap that I don’t really need. They did have some interesting stuff though. There were a ton of vendors selling knockoff DVDs, software and watches. Also quite a few selling stoneware dishes, some of which were quite nice. Lots of pashminas and silk scarves and bellydancing outfits and things like that. Some antique vendors selling fake antiques. Lots of jewelry made from semi-prescious stones. It was fun to take a look around but most of what was there was just junk that I don’t need.

On Saturday night I was invited to a poker game with some of the boys. I got lost on the way there but luckily the game was being held at the office beside the poo pond so in the end I just followed my nose. It was a fun night but those guys smoke a lot! It's been a long time since I've come home reeking of smoke, it really makes you appreciate the no smoking in bars bylaw. 

Sunday was a beautiful day out. I had the day off so I got to sleep in a bit and then I took the quad out and drove all over the base. It was a fun way to spend the afternoon. I think I’ve got the place figured out now, at least well enough that I can navigate to the places I need to go.

I'm having a hard time staying annoyed at Jelani, he keeps bringing me things: a desk lamp, a powerbar, a little tray to make it easier to use my laptop in bed. That said, his alarm went off again in the middle of the night last night. Not the same alarm as before, this one was his clock-radio that he normally uses to wake up in the morning. He's obviously just not good with technology; although a clock-radio hardly counts as technology, does it?